My New Book and human-ness

Dec 6, 2016 by M. Marmer Verhoeff

For many months now, my newly released novel, The Daily Diner, consumed my daily routine.  It was certainly one of the many reasons why I haven’t blogged in so long. To write any other word than consumed, would be, well, ludicrous. The story line had consumed me to the point where I had actually stopped writing another novel, put it to the side, and focused solely on The Daily Diner.

I’m not sure why I needed to get it out of my system to the extent I did. I can surely take an educated guess, however. It all boils down to being human and what to my thinking, that word’s meaning should really entail. It means that “human” encompasses certain feelings, actions, desires, hopes (I could go on), that every one of us innately holds within our encasement (our body).

To my way of thinking, any fringe group, isolationist group, elitist group, any group that cloisters itself away from the rest of the world, has already failed their humanity. They will never convince me otherwise. Simply put, how can you repair the world, help your fellow man, or achieve that sense of connectedness to the universe and your version of what God is all about, if you have declared the rest of the world demonized and you need to avoid it? I am of the opinion that you are not making God happy as a result (counter to what they themselves preach).

In my book I referred to Dr. Seuss’s wonderful story The Sneetches, as well as his The Butter Battle Book. In both stories, a battle is being waged over which is the “correct” way to be. Any one reading either story can quickly deduce that the battle is being waged over something that is in essence, identical. The sneetches are all the same, only some have stars on their bellies. Much the same like one person might have a freckle and another doesn’t. In the case of the butter battle, the toast is buttered no matter what and will be eaten no matter what.

Hasid, Mormon, Amish, a form of extreme Islam, or any other group that declares the need to be isolated from the world in order to do what God really wants from us, frustrates me no end. And although it may seem that I am speaking out of both sides of my mouth, I can and do respect the fact that there are good people in these groups. Kind people, loving people who believe they are actually a grand example to me. But I believe that they have been raised with blind faith and so, if and when they show kindness and loving, it is that they share those qualities mostly amongst themselves.

When you read stories from ex-members of these groups, it quickly becomes clear that they felt suppressed, isolated, unprepared for the rest of the world, and in the case of women, completely second class and unworthy. Oh, how I would love to find that secret way to bring all these groups back to center! In my religion, we believe the messiah has not yet arrived and will be heralded in by Elijah the prophet. I am of the opinion that messiah is actually all of us. That we need to act as one whole human entity. At that time, the messiah will show itself.

To quote a rabbi I know, he told me once “Any group that isolates itself from the rest of the world, is a form of evil.” I knew what he meant and I agree. He was trying to make the point that by refusing to act in the world, participate in its ups and downs, the good and the bad, you are depriving the world of being repaired and being made whole. God needs every single one of us to actively take care of each other and our planet. Not just amongst a select few that think and act the way you want them to. There is something very wrong about staying cloistered in the hills, a walled community, a remote village, and refusing to participate in life at large.

Perhaps what irks me the most is that many of these groups that declare they are holier than the rest of us or that only they have truly figured out the correct way to keep God pleased with us (as if they could truly know God’s mind), have their fair share of sinful underbellies. Members that commit sexual and emotional abuse. Drug and alcohol abusers, dishonest businessman, even murderers. How does this make you holy? Time and again, it has come to light that there are issues like these in these groups. Sadly, the news often comes to us in big ways, via the media.

My greatest wish for anyone reading this: just be human. Know that you are no better or worse than anyone else. We all have the same qualities whether physical or emotional. We need to support them, lift them up, in each other. The best way for me to end this blog is to share something my husband’s co-worker shared with him.

He was driving through a toll booth with one of those automatic pass devices. Instead of the toll reading: Go, or giving a green light, it actually lit up as: valid. The co-worker chirped to my husband that it felt good to be reminded that he was valid. Know that each of us is valid. Our humanness is valid. The way we choose to believe in God or the universe is very personal but most certainly, valid. It makes us who we are… human.